I was fortunate to have lived in Virginia, North Carolina, and Tennessee for a while and unfortunatley, I understood every word. He sounded like one of the normal ones.
so a man walks into a whorehouse with $20 to his name. he set the 20 on the counter and says "what can this get me"
The guy behind the counter says to head down to room 4 and this will be fine.
so the man heads down to the room, opens the door, and sees this beutiful blonde, spreadeagle on the bed. so of course he hops in her like a fucking kangaroo
everything is going fine, but as he gets going he sees that there is white shit coming out her eyes, so he runs out the room naked and runs up the front counter and scream "THAT BITCH IS LEAKING WHITE SHIT OUT HER EYES"
the guy behind the counter yells "BOB!! the dead ones full again!"
An indian walks into a whore house, walks up to the madam and says" me wantum fuck". So the madam asks him if he had any experience and he says "no". So she tells him to go out into the woods and practice on some old trees. So a few weeks go by and here comes that old indian back to the whore house. So the madam asks him if he got any experience and the old indian just smiles and nods his head. So she takes his money and leads him into a room where this beautiful woman is lying on a bed. The madam says "there you go chief, she's all yours" and turns around and heads back to the parlor. Well before she gets all the way back, all this screaming and carrying on starts coming out from the room. So the madam goes running back and whips open the door and there's the old indian shoving a broomstick up the hookers twat and the madam starts screaming "chief chief, what are you doing?" and the old indian says "me checkum for bees"
God i love culture. This reminds me of when i was in scotland, and i could not for the life of me understand anyone in Inverness. LOL! Or Wales. GOD I LOVE CULTURE!!! I can at least understand him! because in every facet of life, in every place you think you've been? you always have someone in your own 'hood that you cant understand.
yep. i had my first real beers there, back in 99. it was awesome. the english were playing the scotts in football and the scotts lost. OH SHIT! We saw and taped them burning the englis flag and were drunk with them! LOL! IT was so much fun!
a cop car drove past them burning the english flag chanting, "if ya hate the fuk'in english clap your hands! CLAP CLAP CLAP! If yea hate the fuk'in eglish clap your 'ands, CLAP CLAP CLAP!..." and it just honked and waved! LOL!
although. i think its fascinating to wonder what English people and Aussie peeps and even Canadians think of this 'twang of the south. The Texas south. This isn't eastern south. It's deep Texas bull shit your are hearing here. LOL! I LOVE IT!!
I've met a few rednecks that were cool with everyone. One was from south Florida and he had some great stories. One was about some swamp or river or something. Anyway it was illegal to fish from the bank, but from a boat it was legal. The only hang up was the river/swamp was not navigable by boat. So the rednecks would drag a canoe up to the bank and fish from it while standing in it, therefore they were boat fishing and perfectly legal. The mental image of that still makes me laugh.
No man I know more than a few necks and blacks still hold the most hate but the Mexicans come in a close second because they will at least work for their money
subscribe to mucho |
Got MySpace? Add us! |
Submit Content
the fine line...
Bob Saget: The Aristocrats
another aristocrats joke
The Aristocrats
Filthy Mime
Comments to dirty jokes
First joke-old
Second joke-old
Third joke-old
But he's funny
YOU NO "GUDSUNBICH"!
i'm glad you thought they were old. new to me :)
that third joke was on ebaums yesterday haha.
also: "i dun care who ya'arr right there" lol
how dare you sir!!!!
I've heard the first two, but the third one is new to me.
fucking redneck, speak english
Tearin this bitches pussy up!
*feels less proud to be american*
I couldn't understand him...I only speak english =(
I thought that too and maybe I have had more experience with people that speak like this but once I concentrated on it it was okay.
I was fortunate to have lived in Virginia, North Carolina, and Tennessee for a while and unfortunatley, I understood every word. He sounded like one of the normal ones.
He looks and sounds like a Bush voter.
I love the American accent. It is so quaint.
That's really, really, really southern accent.
I'm guessing Georgia or Alabama.
I'm guessing he was taking the piss.
im guesing inbread.
Deff southern.
I have a Chicago accent. We have a tendacy to stretch out our "a"s. :)
They also have a tendecy to stretch out their assholes.
How did you know???
so a man walks into a whorehouse with $20 to his name. he set the 20 on the counter and says "what can this get me"
The guy behind the counter says to head down to room 4 and this will be fine.
so the man heads down to the room, opens the door, and sees this beutiful blonde, spreadeagle on the bed. so of course he hops in her like a fucking kangaroo
everything is going fine, but as he gets going he sees that there is white shit coming out her eyes, so he runs out the room naked and runs up the front counter and scream "THAT BITCH IS LEAKING WHITE SHIT OUT HER EYES"
the guy behind the counter yells "BOB!! the dead ones full again!"
thanks ffa....
cheers
cheers, indeed.
obviously that guy has never watched cops, else he would know theres better deals out there
You talkin about $5 Betty.
An indian walks into a whore house, walks up to the madam and says" me wantum fuck". So the madam asks him if he had any experience and he says "no". So she tells him to go out into the woods and practice on some old trees. So a few weeks go by and here comes that old indian back to the whore house. So the madam asks him if he got any experience and the old indian just smiles and nods his head. So she takes his money and leads him into a room where this beautiful woman is lying on a bed. The madam says "there you go chief, she's all yours" and turns around and heads back to the parlor. Well before she gets all the way back, all this screaming and carrying on starts coming out from the room. So the madam goes running back and whips open the door and there's the old indian shoving a broomstick up the hookers twat and the madam starts screaming "chief chief, what are you doing?" and the old indian says "me checkum for bees"
God i love culture. This reminds me of when i was in scotland, and i could not for the life of me understand anyone in Inverness. LOL! Or Wales. GOD I LOVE CULTURE!!! I can at least understand him! because in every facet of life, in every place you think you've been? you always have someone in your own 'hood that you cant understand.
I spent a little time in Scotland, and found that the further north I traveled, the faster they talked.
yep. i had my first real beers there, back in 99. it was awesome. the english were playing the scotts in football and the scotts lost. OH SHIT! We saw and taped them burning the englis flag and were drunk with them! LOL! IT was so much fun!
a cop car drove past them burning the english flag chanting, "if ya hate the fuk'in english clap your hands! CLAP CLAP CLAP! If yea hate the fuk'in eglish clap your 'ands, CLAP CLAP CLAP!..." and it just honked and waved! LOL!
i was 15 and discovered that I could get served in any pub I walked into. That's where I had my first "real beer". What a country!
Talk about difficult to understand Scottish, anyone seen a tv show called Rab C. Nesbitt?
although. i think its fascinating to wonder what English people and Aussie peeps and even Canadians think of this 'twang of the south. The Texas south. This isn't eastern south. It's deep Texas bull shit your are hearing here. LOL! I LOVE IT!!
oh and by the way? I know it's all the south sounds like this... I was just kidding! My fam is from Mississippi. So there you have it.
I think this guy lives across the street from me. He needs to mow his fuckin lawn.
hey im australian, thats pretty much as far south as you get, but i dont talk like a lazy, toothless, drunken hillbilly....
much.
One of the harder accents to keep up with but thankfully the limited vocabulary gives you a chance.
You can find this accent everywhere in the US... in fact, it's the only accent you'll find everywhere in the US. it's like a disease or something.
LARRY THE CABLE GUY'S DAD
if i was there that guy would shoot me for being black.... oh and fucking his daughter with my giant PENIS!
I've met a few rednecks that were cool with everyone. One was from south Florida and he had some great stories. One was about some swamp or river or something. Anyway it was illegal to fish from the bank, but from a boat it was legal. The only hang up was the river/swamp was not navigable by boat. So the rednecks would drag a canoe up to the bank and fish from it while standing in it, therefore they were boat fishing and perfectly legal. The mental image of that still makes me laugh.
Ahhh...the simple things.
@ Morph, I've asked a lot of black women about black men, and apparently , it's a myth. That's the word on the street.
anymore.. at least where i come from only the crazy rednecks really care about color anymore...... now its mexicans...
No man I know more than a few necks and blacks still hold the most hate but the Mexicans come in a close second because they will at least work for their money
You don't have to be a redneck to hate blacks and mexicans.
As I understand it hate between Mexicans and blacks is on a whole other level now.
yeah why do blacks and mexicans hate eachother? I don't get it... still, only white people are racist huh?
I despise rednecks.
Yeah, that's it, that's my comment. What, you wanna fight about it?
I hate people who use Family Guy quotes in everyday conversation. You lot are worse than the Simpsons quoters.
What now that Family guy says something I can't? Fuck you narrow minded cunt. I come up with my own shit.
*peter laugh*
Damn, I kinda assumed you stole that from a Family Guy episode, but now it's clear you were saying it long before family guy... douche.
Glad we're clear... dick licker.
Cletus! Put your teeth in and do it again you no can't no body understand you.
'You know you're a redneck when......'
1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
2. you know your daughter is on the rag because your sons cock tastes funny
3. When you like Jeff Foxworthy
lawl
What's with that big scar on his neck? It looks like he's had his throat cut.
He tried shaving with a boat propeller.
What language is that?
some form of chinese?
tearing up that ol' pussy, that was funny.
nothing like a crazy coot telling jokes