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Stabbing Monkeys

Gotta love The Onion.

Stabbing Monkeys

tags related to Stabbing Monkeys

funny,  news,  the onion

Comments to Stabbing Monkeys

  • bukkakeituacahs
    bukkakeituacahs 2007-10-20T04:11:50Z says:

    Haha...Fuck you PETA!

    • Asphalt
      Asphalt 2007-10-20T04:18:36Z says:

      You know this isnt real right? Maybe you should support PETA seeing as how youre a dumb animal yourself

    • bukkakeituacahs
      bukkakeituacahs 2007-10-20T04:28:04Z says:

      Oh this IS real asshole. I stab monkeys myself!

    • Asphalt
      Asphalt 2007-10-20T05:15:13Z says:

      Im just totally gonna blow off how retarded you are... don't blink, here I go...

      *Walks away*

    • toolman961
      toolman961 2007-10-20T14:26:04Z says:

      Somebody from PETA is going to believe this and have a stroke.

    • Mouzer
      Mouzer 2007-10-22T06:52:55Z says:

      Oh come on stop being such a fuckin sissy they didnt even stab the damn thing only joked about it grow some skin.

  • ClaudeBallz
    ClaudeBallz 2007-10-20T04:15:25Z says:

    ...Silly monkies...

    • jamiee1869
      jamiee1869 2007-10-20T04:43:05Z says:

      changos are cool, I have a class full of them.

    • toolman961
      toolman961 2007-10-20T14:27:51Z says:

      Do you attend Grambling?

    • jamiee1869
      jamiee1869 2007-10-20T18:55:32Z says:

      I'm a teacher

  • RectalCavity
    RectalCavity 2007-10-20T04:22:13Z says:

    This just in. Getting stabbed can kill you.

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T10:30:37Z says:

      film at eleven.

  • elchris
    elchris 2007-10-20T04:31:03Z says:

    that proves nothin more research needs to be done

    • GwiLo
      GwiLo 2007-10-21T04:59:41Z says:

      That is sick that they dont test on human babies. Poor monkies...

  • CheechWizard
    CheechWizard 2007-10-20T04:34:46Z says:

    Christ. Don't we have enough fake news shows already? 5 or 6 should cover it. We get it already. You are doing silly shit with a straight face. Great. Brilliant work.

    • elchris
      elchris 2007-10-20T04:43:41Z says:

      brilliant work bitching about it

    • elchris
      elchris 2007-10-20T04:44:47Z says:

      wait, not realy

    • TiredGuy
      TiredGuy 2007-10-20T07:07:06Z says:

      I agree, there are way too many fake news outlets. There's CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News for starters.

    • IGoPPStandingUp
      IGoPPStandingUp 2007-10-20T07:19:06Z says:

      Yah seriously fuck off this vid was pretty entertaining...

    • El_Wanko
      El_Wanko 2007-10-20T11:11:43Z says:

      It was ok.

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T11:25:09Z says:

      not as good as "a bit of reality for you," that's for sure.

  • StretchNuts
    StretchNuts 2007-10-20T04:39:02Z says:

    Fuck Monkies and Fuck they're mothers

    • El_Wanko
      El_Wanko 2007-10-20T11:12:05Z says:

      Crackhos?

    • toolman961
      toolman961 2007-10-20T14:29:33Z says:

      That's how we all started.

  • zxcv
    zxcv 2007-10-20T04:50:58Z says:

    We also tested throwing the monkeys agianst different objects. We found that more funny than stabbings, but less funny than punching them.

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T04:54:22Z says:

      Does anyone find you funny?

      I mean your jokes, not the way you look.

    • elchris
      elchris 2007-10-20T04:57:20Z says:

      hahahahaa

    • instakitty
      instakitty 2007-10-20T07:19:28Z says:

      elchris might?

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T09:40:12Z says:

      Dam Mr. Hanky. I didn't think you were such a Peta lover. I won't make any more animal abuse jokes,. My bad. Geez homos.

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T10:03:06Z says:

      Every "joke" you make is an abuse. Stop torturing me with your lameness and put a bullet in your head.

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T10:16:17Z says:

      Jokes aren't funny when they are against you. So you probably don't get many jokes.

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T10:23:00Z says:

      Are your stab wounds healing ok?

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T10:27:45Z says:

      Probably as well as your rectal sores.

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T10:48:49Z says:

      Yeah, thanks. It's good of you to lick them clean for me every night.

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T10:58:36Z says:

      Well that's definitely not me, but thanks for imaging me doing it. I'm weirded out and flattered at the same time. Huh.

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T11:04:04Z says:

      I really appreciate you fitting me into your busy schedule of ass-licking.

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T11:14:48Z says:

      ^GAY

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T11:20:27Z says:

      cvdx, the funniest guy with 4 letters or less.

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T11:27:14Z says:

      Thank you.

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T11:31:05Z says:

      you two are such dilettantes. can't you have sex with each other in one thread, as opposed to spread your flamefest all over mucho?

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T11:35:16Z says:

      You feeling left out, Faggymaru?

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T11:42:08Z says:

      not really. i could care less. i'm just saying.

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T11:43:57Z says:

      Oh, poor Faggymaru. I'm sure Faggy would love to spread his flamefest on any willing participant, boy or, boy.

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T11:47:04Z says:

      it not like there are any women on this site, vbnm here scared them all away.

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T11:51:37Z says:

      Well, we know why your'e here now, don't we?

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T11:55:26Z says:

      fyi, i'm here to watch people get killed and animals get skinned alive.
      you, on the other hand, are here for the pictures of penises and bad porn clips. e.g. what was the last thing you submitted? a motivational poster of lemonparty?

    • HankChinaski
      HankChinaski 2007-10-20T12:00:24Z says:

      I think sfzn is one of the old guys in the lemon party photo.

      He was just asking me my age.

    • kagemaru026
      kagemaru026 2007-10-20T12:05:22Z says:

      i think that qualifies as pedophila.
      nvbd is a pedophile! mflv is a pedophile! nyah nyah!

    • zxcv
      zxcv 2007-10-20T21:39:32Z says:

      I don't care what you think, or want. I am not gay, and will not have sex with either of you. Just get it out of your minds. Sorry to turn down your gay sexual fantasies.

  • shawn2007
    shawn2007 2007-10-20T05:24:34Z says:

    I have to admit that made me laugh.That site has a few other funny clips on it

    • yak
      yak 2007-10-20T15:07:53Z says:

      the onion isn't really about funny videos (until fairly recently) its more about the funny fake news articles, which for the most part rock... too bad less and less people want to read things on the internet ;/

    • -Morph-
      -Morph- 2007-10-20T19:22:25Z says:

      you mean the net dosent consist of mucho and the subsequent porn sites it whores itself out to?

    • yak
      yak 2007-10-21T17:10:48Z says:

      i think people use it for pirating music too quite a lot.

  • Blah2aUsaName
    Blah2aUsaName 2007-10-20T06:01:59Z says:

    What about shooting? Did they shoot the monkeys? Clearly this study was flawed.

  • toolman961
    toolman961 2007-10-20T14:33:08Z says:

    Spend another 2 million to get it right.

  • Lazerhead
    Lazerhead 2007-10-21T11:10:32Z says:

    lol. That was awesome. I need to check the onion more often.

  • aXx
    aXx 2007-10-21T23:16:58Z says:

    monkey for what? kill them all eat em all.

HankChinaski
posted October 20, 2007